Friday, June 19, 2009

"Oops, I did it again..."

Had one of "those" days again yesterday. It's been a while since I had one of those days, which is a GOOD thing, obviously!

I'm not even sure what triggered it, but somehow, I knew it would be a problem early in the day already.

Come to think of it, maybe there is a pattern here... It seems this kind of thing often happens on my first full day of ridin' the cotton pony. I don't get PMS munchies, but my first full day of ~ well, you know ~ my lower back and legs are quite achey and restless-feeling. You know the feeling you get when you've put in a hard day's work and your muscles aren't stiff, but they ache to the point where you can't seem to get comfortable? Kinda like that. And somehow, that achiness translates to compulsive eating. Which I did.

I did okay until mid-afternoon.

Breakfast was just a small crust of toast with margarine and Nutella, one cup skim milk, and coffee. Fidget wanted an indoor picnic for lunch and chose the menu: a handful of carrot sticks, an apple (I had 1/4 of her apple plus an orange), two slices of cheese, and chips. (I had 5 Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits instead) A surprisingly filling lunch!

But the Mars bar I'd been craving since the day before finally wore me down and I ate it in the afternoon. I didn't scarf it like I might have done in the past, but leisurely enjoyed it over a period of about half an hour while I read. I thought, okay, this is still under control.

Supper was a hotdog with a 1/3-plate of nacho chips with melted cheese for supper. Things were definitely on a downhill slide and I was gaining momentum. So much for living my NEW normal.

Once the girls were in bed, the dam burst and the madness truly began. Random leftovers in the fridge, Triscuit crackers coated in melted cheese, another Mars bar... It was ugly, I tell ya.

But you know what's ugliest of all? (besides the toxic fumes I'm releasing today! Sorry, TMI...) The whole time ~ THE WHOLE TIME ~ I kept telling myself, "Tammi, you need to pick up your Bible. You haven't done your Bible reading yet today. Turn off the TV, pick up your Bible and spend some time with God.

...And for the love of Pete, PUT DOWN THE CHEESE!!!!"

But I rebelled. I failed to choose the hard road last night. I chose the path of indulgence and the devil got his party.

I hope he's prepared to endure a weekend of blinding holy fireworks and laser lights because...

I have confessed my sin, I have been forgiven,
and I have been purified from all unrighteousness.
(1 John 1:9)

"It's a new dawn, it's a new day... and I'm feeeeelin' FINE! FREE!"

Good Vs Evil


Brooke said...

now you have to to extra good on the weekend, hopefully it was worth it. typically it just makes me sick to my stomach.

TammyIsBlessed said...

The biggest thing is the end of your post. You're not going to continue the downward spiral, you're stopping it in it's tracks! Way to go.

Vickie said...

First good job on weigh in. Two pounds. You are doing awesome!

Second, oh heck, we all have those bad days where we eat like there is no tomorrow. Yet, you have a good attitude!

Sorry for being a little late. Now that it is summer, my kids are hogging the computer:)

codeladybug said...

Kick that little devil to the curb! The biggest part is admitting you slipped and pulling yourself up from the bootstraps before it continues and becomes normal.

We all slip, that's part of being human...gotta love the humility. But you know it wasn't what you should have done, and I love you are moving onwards and upwards.

Keep up the good attitude...and step away from the cheese!


Tami said...

Praise God that we can start all over! Fresh! White as snow! I hear the same thing..."pick up your Bible...spend time with Me.". Do I always do it...nope. There is power in the blood girl!

Andrea said...

Light up the sky with those holy fireworks this next week!!!

WriterMarie said...

I found your blog through Mesha, and I have been in this predicament too. I know the devil uses that time of the month to get to us! I'm getting better with the cravings at that time, and I appreciate you sharing this experience with us. I love how God is using our blogs to inspire each other! :o)

Mesha said...

Praise God that we can come BOLDLY before the throne of grace to receive mercy in time of need. LOVE THAT SCRIPTURE, I've bound it to my heart as a reminder that I don't have to approach some tyrant king in my weakness and confess my failures, NOPE, not at all. I have the privilege of coming before JESUS...which the scripture further declares that he was tempted in every way, just as we are, yet without sin. SO HE is ABLE to sympathize with us. We truly do serve an awesome God! At a OneDay conference I attended in 03, Beth Moore was sharing part of her testimony and said that in overcoming a particular bondage in her life, she came to the place where she realized she couldn't just pray, "God, get me through this year" or "get me through this month." She realized that she needed to break it down further, "Lord, I need your grace. Get me through this day, this hour, this minute in time. I can't do this own my own, I need your strength every moment of every day!" She said once she began taking it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day that God began delivering her and breaking that habit out of her life. It's a testimony that's always stuck with me. I'm so happy that you are a woman of faith who truly recognizes and acknowledges where your strength comes from. Have a great weekend.