Sunday, May 17, 2009

Walking in Repentance. Or....

Episode 2.

Dang it, I really didn't want this to be a regular occurence!!

But, I guess as long as I'm human and trying to fight temptation, this will happen. Not to say that I should be okay with it, of course, but I do need to accept it, appreciate the value of the lessons learned (if any!), and make it fuel my resolve.

Wednesday was really bad. Because I had the house COMPELTELY ALL TO MYSELF for 6 hours. And there was a bag of Creamy Dill chips in the cupboard. Why, oh why, do I even allow myself to BUY them??!! And why does celebrating always automatically mean bingeing?!

Thursday was more of the same, only with kids around.

It's funny~ during the day, I don't have a problem. I can stick to the eating plan all day long... until my girls are in bed. And THEN the devil rears his ugly mug. And presents me with bags of chips, thoroughly butter-drenched popcorn, Nutella-smeared toast, and a fridge full of tasty leftovers. (Yes, I get that desperate when I've got the munchies and there are no "decent" snacks in the house!)

Oh relax, I didn't have those all in one night!! I have in the past, but not this past week. Just the chips. And the toast.

And all on the heels of a 4.4 pound loss. Self-sabotage is my M.O.

This past week, Thursday's lesson really stuck out for me. Walking in repentance. What does that mean and what on earth does it have to do with losing weight?!

Walking in repentance, I believe, is all about humility and overall attitude. It is willing to listen without becoming defensive when someone gives you some constructive criticism, and allowing the Holy Spirit to convict. It is being willing to work HARD at changing and to persevere despite the difficulties and the temptation to go the easy route.

Walking in daily repentance with regard to gluttony would be to ask God to continually show me where and when the devil's lying to me and to repent of all the times I've believed him without giving it a second thought. And to turn to God every time I notice I'm being tempted in the future.

Repentance is not only saying sorry and asking for forgiveness; it is also a "turning away." Turning away from sin and walking the OTHER way.

Are you walking THE OTHER WAY today?


Brooke said...

i've been feeling like God has been distant...and i discovered this weekend it was because of a unrepentant heart. its a struggle...

Louise said...

Oh man I so hear this......
I am SO guilty of this.
Thanks for the reminder !!

Not Jenny said...

God and I have for lack of a better word, a complicated relationship at best. I find great comfort in the fact that you find great comfort in Him and love reading what you have to say, even if my own heart isn't there yet.