It would be nice if I could say with certainty that this was the last time, but I know that's unrealistic. I'm simply not strong enough to ALWAYS resist the temptation.
Tuesday was supposed to be a "half day," meaning I was supposed to eat only half of what I normally would.
Now, of course, as I've stated in the past, half of "normal" is rather difficult to determine at the best of times. But Tuesday, I seemed to just not care. I don't think I over-ate in the same fashion I might have several weeks ago, but I certainly ate more than "half of normal." Probably even more than "normal" itself. It was ugly.
Because it wasn't even like we suddenly had awesome snacks in the house or that I'd had a rough day or someone had given me a wonderful basket of sweets and snacks....
No, it was just me eating more than I was supposed to. More than necessary.
Because the food was tasty. And mostly, because I wanted to "indulge the flesh."
Doesn't that sound ugly? It is. Because it's SIN.
Man, I SO understand Paul when he tells the Romans that he's human and struggles with doing what's right:
But, I have to keep reminding myself about the holy fireworks vs. the devil's happy dance. I have to keep repeating over and over, "...but if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." (Genesis 4:7, NIV) And I'm pleased to report there was a small display of fireworks in the evening, despite the mayhem of the day. Very small ~ just a sparkler or two. I was SO tempted to snack since I'd indulged my appetite all day long anyway. You know how it is ~ this day is shot anyway, might as well keep bingeing! Instead, I chose to make a mug of green tea and fold laundry. Yeah, it wasn't nearly as much fun as a Coke and some nacho chips with bean dip would have been, but even though I felt a little unsatisfied, I went to bed happier than I would have if I hadn't stopped the madness.
But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time. (Romans 7:17-20, The Message)
And I didn't wake up bloated the next morning, which is also worth something!
So today, which would normally be a "normal" day according to the eating plan, we're gonna try that "half" day again. And THIS time, I'll get it right.