Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Never-Ending Story

I have a problem.

Every time I have a weigh-in coming up (or am beginning a new "diet" plan), I eat like there's no tomorrow.

I generally weigh myself Wednesday mornings and usually I'm pretty well behaved from Thursday to Monday, but Monday night the munchies hit with a vengeance and by the time the alarm goes off Wednesday morning, I've usually succeeded in undoing all efforts made earlier in the week. It's very frustrating.

This past Wednesday, my best friend and I decided to start working through the Dee Brestin study "A Woman of Moderation" on Monday, and I've thoroughly gorged myself since making that decision. I've felt uncomfortably full almost continuously since then, it seems. Disgusting, isn't it?

Last night, we were invited to my aunt and uncle's home for Good Friday supper and guess what? I overate. Later at home, while hubby grabbed his Oh Henry Easter egg to munch on in front of the TV, I told myself to leave mine for a different day. I reminded myself how uncomfortable I was still feeling, how the waistband of my jeans was leaving angry red marks on my skin. I reasoned that it would taste better if I knew I'd waited until I was actually hungry ~ or at least until I'd had a day of restraint.

I didn't wait. I ate it anyway.

And though it gave me temporary satisfaction, I've had nothing but regret since I swallowed the last delicious, melty morsel. Hating myself for giving in AGAIN, hating that I'm still feeling full 12 hours later, kicking myself for 'wasting' a treat on a full stomach...

I'm so tired of this.

Fat Woman 5


Susanne said...

If only we had Falcor to come down and sweep us up and out of our mediocrity and endless rut of "failure". Oh, wait. We have one even better... We have THE ONE who created us, and wants more than anything for us to experience the ABUNDANT life he died to give us! So excited about this "new leg" of the journey with you. Let's do this thing!

ValleyGirl said...

To borrow my favourite phrase of yours...