Check-in Wednesday

Had I done what I said I would do and controlled myself while camping ~ eating as much fruit and veggies as I could instead of chips, crackers, and chocolate-covered granola bars ~ I might have actually had a significant weight loss.

As is, I lost the 2.6 I was up from two weeks ago (the gain I refused to report last week!), so that pretty much proves it was entirely water weight. I'm trying not to think about how much better a loss I could've had if I'd eaten better while we were gone.

It's tough though, while camping. I had brought some fresh beans from the garden as well as a bag of oranges, but that was pretty much it. My little camper fridge and our cooler were full of "main course" things and I just didn't have room for NON-ESSENTIALS like healthy stuff!! ;)

So I'm happy the water weight is gone and I'm trying to be very self-disciplined this week because I've got another rough food week comin' up...

Check-in Wednesday

I did great with the fruits and veggies goal I spelled out in my last two posts until Sunday, but I struggled a little yesterday and Monday. They were busy days where what could be most easily grabbed out of the fridge or cupboard got eaten. Monday was particularly bad for veggies. (And for a bit of over-eating, I'll admit. But no bingeing!!) And that pesky TOM arrived yesterday, so I'm up a bit from Sunday's starting weight.

Okay, quite a bit, actually.

Alright, I'll be honest ~ I was shocked.

Let's just say, it was a lot of weight to gain in the mere 48 hours that separated Sunday's weigh-in from my regular weekly one yesterday morning. So, I'm not sure whether this is allowed or not, but I've decided I'm not recording a weight this week. It's so very obviously a water weight and next week's should be much more normal again.

Hopefully...

This coming week will be a challenge as I'll be spending most of it at a campsite. And everyone knows camping means eating somewhat LESS healthy than when you're at home. (Just a little!) And lots LOTS of snacking. At least two of the suppers I've planned will include salad, and I'm bringing bags of oranges, carrot sticks, and fresh-picked green beans for snacking, but it will be hard to choose those things over chips and chocolate-covered granola bars!!

Wish me luck!

Down & Dirty in 30 Challenge Kick-Off

Okay, I've got my plan in place and I am ready to get DOWN & DIRTY this month! (Well, DOWN anyway!!)

The plan is really pretty simple: make sure I get a minimum of 5 servings of fruits and vegetables in each day.

The tricky part for ME is...

They MUST BE SOLID FOODS, not liquids!!

The temptation is to run out and buy a bunch of V8 and V8-Splash type juices and just drink my fruits and veggies, but what I'm going for here is not actually so much the vitamins, minerals, and fibre, but the feeling of a full stomach. You know, so there's not as much room for all the fat- and carb-laden stuff in my diet! And with fresh produce starting to come out of the garden, this should be relatively easy and inexpensive this month. Once the garden is done... well, I'll worry about that later!

On Wednesday's check-in, I vowed to have some handy little charts made up so I could better keep track of my fruit/veggie intake and it just so happens that my "poor man's BlackBerry" has a food diary mod! I won't be tracking all foods, I don't think, just the fruits and veggies I consume for each meal. There's also spots for type of activity and time, so that will be nice, too.

I'm starting this challenge off with a weight of 157.0, which is down 0.6 from Wednesday (yay!) and though I'm not sure what all the "dirty" part entails, I'm definitely planning on being DOWN in 30!!

Weigh-in Wednesday

Not sure how it happened, but I'll take it:

I'm down 1.8 from last week!

And not only did the scale show 1.8 lower than last week, but I forgot to step on the scale till 12:30 this afternoon, so this is not even my first-thing-in-the-morning weight! What a happy mid-day surprise!

It's a great weigh (haha, get it?!) to go into the new Sisterhood challenge with ~ mostly because it's lower than I thought my August 1 starting weight would be! I've decided not to participate on a team this time though, despite it being a team challenge. That strategy seems to bring out my self-destructive tendency more than any other, and I've hated myself for letting down my teams in the past. So I'm goin' this one alone, but true to my word from last week, I have decided on a plan and am starting to follow it already.

The plan is really pretty simple: make sure I get a minimum of 5 servings of fruits and veggies in each day. And they must be SOLID FOOD, not liquids!! The temptation is to run out and buy a bunch of V8 and V8-Splash type juices and just drink my vitamins, but what I'm going for here is not actually so much the vitamins, minerals, and fibre, but the feeling of a full stomach. You know, so there's not as much room for all the fat- and carb-laden stuff in my diet!

With fresh produce starting to come out of the garden, this should be relatively inexpensive right now, but once that's over, I think I'm going to do what I've been talking about doing for YEARS already and start buying prepared veggie platters at the grocery store each week. I've done it once or twice in the past, and then it always gets eaten. And yet if I pay a little less for whole veggies and bunches of veggies, almost invariably half of it ends up getting thrown out because it got neglected and went moldy. Blecgh.

So that's my marvelous plan. I just need to make myself up some cute little printed-out charts to keep track and make sure I'm doing what I promised to do! They'll be ready when the challenge starts on Sunday!!

Weigh-in Wednesday: SDoS FINALE!

I'll admit it: I'm not happy with my results this week. Partly because I gained, but mostly because I don't really understand why. Coming off a week of TOM, getting plenty of exercise, watching how I ate....

I was expecting to see a loss of 1.4, not a gain.

So I end off this 8-week challenge with an overall loss of just 3 lbs. Blah.

I think it's time I admit I need to follow some kind of concrete PLAN again if I really want to see results. "Everything in moderation" is all fine and dandy, but I need more than just a general concept in my head. I need to know for certain BEFORE the food gets to my mouth how "moderation" is supposed to look! And I need to be able to evaluate each day, each meal, quantitatively and qualitatively, so I don't just think I've probably done poorly or "okay," but so that I know exactly where I did well and where I need to improve next meal.

So that will be my goal for the next week. Establishing a plan and, if necessary, making myself a little chart or journal to fill out each day.

I hereby vow to have a

battle-ready plan of attack

formulated by the time the

next challenge begins!

"Normal."

"Normal" is such a funny word isn't it?

Such a relative, subjective word. In a way, COMPLETELY meaningless, and yet we fully rely on it.

During my most successful weight-loss period (April to July, 2009 ~ lost 20 lbs in 15 weeks), I followed the Setting Captives Free eating plan. You know, the one I obviously can't decide if I'm going to follow ever again! I've sometimes had posted in my sidebar, but then I remove it because I'm not following it.... tsk, tsk.

Anyway, it's like this:

Monday ~ liquids only

Tuesday ~ half day

Wednesday ~ liquids only

Thursday ~ normal

Friday ~ fasting/liquids only

Saturday ~ normal

Sunday ~ half day

"Half days" are where you literally eat only half what you normally would. Fasting or liquids only days are pretty self-explanatory, but you still eat one light meal per day (I always ate supper). And "normal" days are when you eat like you normally would.

At the beginning, I often wondered what the Setting Captives Free people who thought up this eating plan meant by "normal." Both the "normal" and the "half" days DEPEND on knowing what they mean by NORMAL!!

Do they mean "normal," as in, what and how I have eaten until now? or do they mean "normal," as in, what I would like my normal to look like in the future?

For me, the temptation is to use those "normal" days as an excuse to fall into the comfort of bad habits and over-eating. Because that would be NORMAL. I believe, however, that that is NOT the idea behind "normal" days.

Ideally, these "normal" days are supposed to look like we'd like them to look ~ you know, like how they'll look when we're skinny! Eating anything in moderation, but never over-eating, certainly no routine fast foods or unhealthy snacking, and making sure it's our allowing our bodies letting us know when it's time to refuel rather than our habits and emotions.

I had a pretend conversation with someone as I walked one day ~ someone who, a few months down the road, of course, was commenting on how great I looked and asking whatever had been my secret. As I conversed and explained how I got to looking so fabulous, I realized that I was sharing a testimony. My testimony. My path out of slavery to gluttony, of taking up my cross and dying to self-indulgence, of kicking the devil and his lies to the curb, and giving my angels an excuse to party every day. To the point where the party ran non-stop.

I noticed, as I spoke, that my idea of "normal" eating in the future looks very different from the days I often have. And I realized, that continuing to allow "THOSE DAYS" will only delay ~ and most likely cancel ~ that future.

I'll never get to the point where "normal" for me is fruit and whole wheat toast for breakfast, homemade trailmix for a mid-morning snack, a bowl of vegetable soup or a salad for lunch, celery sticks with cheese for an afternoon snack, a small well-balanced supper, and a small yogurt for evening snack... That's NEVER gonna happen if I'm having a stack of pancakes in the afternoon, two greasy, deep-fried chicken breasts and fries smothered in gravy for supper, and wolfing it down like there's no tomorrow ~ simply because that WAS my normal!

I need a NEW normal.

How would YOU like your "normal" to look?

Let's you and me

LIVE OUR NEW NORMAL

today!!

Weigh-in Wednesday: SDoS Wk 7

I can't believe there's only one week left! I started out this challenge strong, but have definitely slacked off. Oh sure, I could blame 3 weeks of illness and a couple weeks of TOM, but really, it's my own apathy.

I waffle between wanting to keep this up and wanting to "go it alone." I dream of being able to forget about THINKING constantly about eating, forget about weekly weigh-ins, forget about even stepping on the scale...

Ahhhh, the impossible dream.

::sigh::

I found the 0.2 I lost last week. It was TOM. I mowed lawn for an hour again (4 tough miles), did 10 miles of bike riding ~ 8 of them in ONE day!! ~ did one 2-mile run, and walked the same distance twice. A good week exercise-wise again, but I've been very lack-lustre with meals lately. I find myself just not really caring, not being very organized, and spending more on convenience-type foods than I normally do. Which means, of course, less healthy, well-balanced meals than I normally serve.

I'm gonna need a serious kick in the pants if I want to finish this challenge with a decent loss!! My original goal for these 8 weeks was 11 lbs. Then I shifted down to 8. Now I'll be really happy with just 6!

But that means I need to lose 1.6 lbs this coming week. It's not a lot, but considering how much I've been caring about losing weight lately, it seems like a formidable goal!!!

How are YOU doing with your goals for this challenge?

Perseverance and Challenges

*This is a retooled post from last summer, but goodness knows, I need the reminder!!

Today I want to talk about perseverance. Something I'm quite unfamiliar with, actually.

Did you know perseverance means MORE than just hanging on?

Simply hanging on ~ which is more closely defined as endurance ~ is often little more than a fear of letting go or falling. True perseverance is endurance combined with absolute assurance and certainty that what we are looking for is going to happen.

Perseverance is the supreme effort of refusing to believe we might fail.
How many of you have thought about perseverance that way? (Okay, don't tell me -- I'd hate to find out I'm the only one who hasn't!!) I never once thought that perseverance could mean more than just "keepin' on keepin' on." I have certainly never refused to believe I might fail. Heck, I PLAN for failure! Just like a pre-nup agreement, there are always several "but if, then that" loop-holes when I'm setting goals for myself in the weight loss/healthy living department.

How awful and faithless to prepare oneself for the worst even before committing to the best!!
I need to make a concentrated, conscientious effort to switch from just hanging on (read: maintaining) to truly persevering.

I've gotten lazy. I've been content to just hang on. I've gotten out of the habit of following the eating plan on my sidebar, never really tried terribly hard to re-establish the habit, and as a result, my weight hasn't changed much since last summer. There are so many partly-it's-due-to's, but mostly it's my own apathy. I just haven't cared enough to persevere.

I want to start caring again.

And today is always the best day to start making changes for the better!!
I've got nine weeks of summer left and I'd really like that pesky middle digit in my weight to be one number lower by the time school starts again ~ a goal of another 8.5 lbs. There will definitely be challenges along the way, but what month doesn't have them?!

I've come to realize that where eating is concerned, self-control at each and every meal is a challenge, regardless of whether it's a normal, everyday routine meal or a potluck lunch or a weekend family gathering at the lake. The challenge is controlling myself around food, not where or why or what kind of food!

If I choose to persevere rather than simply endure, I should manage just fine whether at home or at the lake. Whether alone or surrounded by friends. And whether there's dessert or not!

How about you? Are you persevering or just hanging on?

Weigh-in Wednesday: SDoS Wk 6

Wow, I can't believe we're at week SIX of this challenge already!! Partly because, where has the time gone??!! And partly because, dang it, my primary AND secondary goals for this challenge are now out of reach!!

Well, I'm still moving in a downward trend, so I guess I can't really complain. It's only 0.2 this week, but that's still FORWARD PROGRESS, despite the pace. At least I'm not reversing!

My in-laws were out from Thursday evening till Sunday afternoon and that always presents eating challenges. Not only do I cook differently when we've got company (we almost never have dessert after supper, but when there's company, we almost always do!), but invariably when the in-laws visit, there's treats. This time it was watermelon with rollkuchen a few times (which are bad enough by themselves, but we usually dip them in syrup!!), and a dozen Timmie's donuts, BOTH of which I have trouble controlling myself around!!

But, I also got in a fair bit more exercise this past week than I have in a long time.

• Thursday: mowed through some seriously overgrown lawn for a good two hours in the sweltering mid-afternoon heat!
• Saturday: went for a 2-mile walk with my father-in-law in the evening
• Sunday: went for a 2-mile jog/walk after the in-laws left in the afternoon
• Monday: mowed lawn for 2-1/2 hours (fortunately, it was a cloudy, breezy day this time!)

So that's roughly TWENTY MILES of exercise!

Yet I still only lost 0.2 lbs. Hmmmmm.

I guess THAT means....

...I definitely ate more than I should have!

Weigh-in Wednesday: SDoS wk 5

Down 0.4.

I really thought it'd be more since I was considerably lower on the weekend and have controlled myself quite well again. (Only small snacks and only on two evenings!!) I guess the loss earlier was probably due to a slight, medication-induced loss of appetite. It's apparently hard on the digestive system, but fortunately I was given what seems to have been very good advice and the side-effects have been kept to a minimum. I haven't noticed anything since Saturday.

And exercise has been virtually non-existent in recent weeks because of all the rain and the pneumonia, but I mowed lawn for an hour on Monday afternoon ~ without coughing a single time!! I have a couple more hours of mowing to look forward to yet this week, providing we don't get much rain, so this week, I could get some good miles in if the forecast is wrong! My lungs seem clear enough to handle the sudden surge of physical activity, so I've got no excuse now. (well, except for the constant downpours, of course...)

My in-laws are coming out tomorrow night and staying till Sunday afternoon, so controlling how much I eat and WHAT I eat will be a little more challenging, but I think I can handle it.

Weight-in Wednesday: SDoS wk 4

Man, I tell ya, I am gettin' really tired of being sick!

This past weekend my cold had a resurgence ~ or I caught a new one without having fully gotten rid of the old one ~ and I've spent the last four days pursuing various vain efforts to soothe an incredibly sore throat. The glands in my throat are swollen to the point of popping and my ears and sinuses are STILL plugged.

We're goin' on THREE WEEKS already, and yes, I'm FINALLY seeing the doctor right before noon today. I don't believe in going to the doctor for coughs and colds, BUT... I detected two large white spots on my right tonsil yesterday. No more messin' around.

Anyhoo.... as a result of all this nonsense, I've been too tired and/or out of it to care much about meals. And swimming lessons are still wreaking havoc with the supper hour this week, so once again, both factors are reflected in my weight. But I'm still down by 0.8, which means I've lost 4 lbs in this challenge already! I'd hoped to be a little further, but considering my health over the last 3 weeks and that it's been raining and too wet to walk/run most of the month, I'm happy.

And, there are only 3 days of school left and then the girls and I dive into what will hopefully be a healthy and active summertime routine!!

Weigh-in Wednesday: SDoS Wk 3

I didn't lose this week. I gained. It's only 0.4, but it's amazing how much of a set-back that is in terms of TIME-SENSITIVE goals!!

I was a little disappointed that I hadn't at least stayed the same, especially since I know I did well with portion control and allowing my stomach to growl between meals. Despite it being that T.O.M., I did none of the frantic gorging that often seems to accompany that week. In fact, I believe I snacked in the evening just ONCE this last week!!! Pretty proud of that, actually.

But I've also been sick for the last week and a half. Which explains not really caring WHAT I ate, even if I controlled my portions and snacking impulses relatively well. It also explains the lack of exercise ~ normal breathing alone has been challenging enough! I did mow lawn twice ~ which amounts to a combined total of 3.5 hours of pushing a mower ~ and go for one or two 2-mile walks. So maybe I didn't do too badly in that area either!

So I'm not too unhappy with the little gain, mostly because I know it didn't come from a lack of self-control for a change!! But it is going to make my goal for this particular challenge a little more, well...

...challenging!

Weigh-in Wednesday: SDos Wk 2

Well, I'll admit it: I did even WORSE sticking to the plan this past week.

For the first half, anyway. I'm still having a real problem with evening snacking. Actually, evening GORGING is probably a more accurate word for what transpired on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evenings.

By Thursday morning, I felt so disgusting that it wasn't a problem at all to do without food 'til suppertime. (I switched my week around a bit so that my kids wouldn't see me starving myself fasting) Not only that, but I was incredibly disgusted with myself when I stepped on the scale for the "fun" of it, and discovered that in just 48 hours, I'd packed on 2.8 lbs!!! I was heavier than my starting weight 2 weeks ago!! Ugh.

Needless to say, I desperately needed to be very self-disciplined for the rest of the week. I managed to pull off a loss from last week, but once again, it could have been SO much more impressive if I'd been sticking with the program the entire time!

Technically, I lost a total of 4 lbs this week, but because almost all of that weight got packed on AFTER last week's weigh-in, it only amounts to a loss of 1.2 this week. And I know, I know, you're going to say, "Hey, a loss is a loss ~ you did great!" but I know I failed at controlling myself until I got desperate.

Don't get me wrong ~ I'm thankful for the loss, but moderation is never going to be a habit if it only happens out of desperation!

In my Bible reading this last week, I came across a sentence in Ecclesiastes that kinda pricked my conscience a little: "The man who fears God will avoid all extremes." (Ecc. 7:18b, NIV) So in other words, bingeing, and then starving to counter the effects of the bingeing, is evidence that I am not completely under God's control.

Definitely something to chew on this week...

Weigh-in Wednesday ~ SDoS wk 1

Well, there was a surprise waiting for me on the bathroom scale this morning! A GOOD surprise, for once!!

I think I only exercised once ~ a 2-mile walk on Saturday evening.

And I had at least 3 days were I didn't and/or couldn't stick to my eating plan this week ~ which, considering it was my first week back ON the plan, isn't a great start!! I COMPLETELY abandoned the plan on Friday and Saturday due to an unforeseen, 2-day solo trip to a city 7 hours away for a funeral.

This trip ended up including a 41st anniversary dinner with my parents at The Keg. After the pre-entrée salad and hunk of bread, I REALLY didn't need a gigantic, stuffed, baked potato and half-cow grilled to perfection...

But I ate most of both anyway.

I ALSO didn't need any dessert.

But dad was goin' a little crazy on his anniversary, and who was I to refuse? That would have been a horrible affront ~ their one and only child refusing to join the celebration!!

Fortunately, he ordered three spoons and only one piece of Billy Miner Pie. OH. MY. GOODNESS!

And I'm not even an ice cream-lover!

Anyway, now where was I....?

Oh yes, the surprise:

I'm DOWN 2.4 POUNDS!!!

I can only imagine how much better I'd have done if I'd stuck to the plan!!

And without last night's bingeing...

Time to Restart. (AGAIN!)

Man, I get so tired of this cycle. I feel like a broken record.

Twice in the last 6 months I've been down to 154.6 and twice I've bounced back up, once just a few pounds; this time 7.8. You do the math.

And before you say, "Maybe this is just where your body needs to be," let me just say, I KNOW IT ISN'T!! I KNOW I've slacked off and taken up ROUTINE evening snacking again. I KNOW I've allowed seconds (and sometimes even thirds) when I shouldn't have. I KNOW I've over-eaten at times when I wasn't even hungry to begin with. I completely deserve this latest weight gain.

But, I guess the only true failure is the one who doesn't even try, so here I am, trying again. I do have a specific goal for this challenge, but it seems like if I say it out loud, I'm bound to sabotage myself, so I'm going to try keeping it a secret this time!

I've decided to go back to the ol' Becoming a Woman of Moderation eating plan (posted in my sidebar) that lost me all that weight last spring. Since I seem to have self-discipline issues, I obviously need a specific eating plan. I'd love to be able to say I can control myself ~ that I only eat when I'm hungry and only eat as much as I need to remove the hunger pangs ~ but I just haven't developed that ability yet. So I'm going with this plan. Fortunately, though it includes regular fasting days, it doesn't actually force me to give up any of the foods I enjoy (even the junk food!). It worked for me once; I believe it will work again.

Here's to a skinnier summer than ever before!

Spring Fling FINAL Weigh-in

I suck. I did SO incredibly horribly this challenge.

I'm up another 1.4 lbs.

Which means, over the course of this 8-week challenge, I've GAINED 3.8 lbs.

Sorry, A-Team. We all seemed to lose enthusiasm as the weeks went on, and I take responsibility for not being more encouraging and uplifting. It seems like most of us have been in a funk over the last several weeks, and now WE'RE "da fools" that boasted supremacy in the beginning! Dang it, I hate failing like this, but...

...What do all ya'll do when you find you just don't care anymore?