May My Weigh-in Wednesday

Well, I gotta say, I don't hold a WHOLE lot of hope for reaching my goal anymore...

That nasty 2.2 gain last week kindasorta wrecked the whole thing!!

Funny how even just a little bit of reverse progress puts the goal so much further away, isn't it? It's more of a set-back than you realize because you gotta lose the gain first before you can continue! Sucky.

I did lose a little this past week, even though my parents were out this weekend and took us on a road trip.  Two days of nibbling in the van while travelling, and eating out normally has a very negative affect on my weight!  But amazingly, I'm down 0.6 from last week, which means I'm at least a TINY bit lighter again than my starting weight this month!

And I have NO plans for company or travel for the next week, so I'm planning for a big finish!! :)

(Wish me luck!)

May MY Weigh-In Wednesday

Ugh, I totally TANKED this week.

Wednesday and Thursday were okay, and Friday during the day, too, but then our weekend company arrived for suppertime and that was the end of all restraint and, dare I say it... moderation.  {groan}

My brother-in-law and his family came, as well as another single sister-in-law, and we had a WONDERFUL time together. I used paper plates and plastic cups all weekend, so I spent minimal time in my kitchen time, and I'd asked the two ladies to bring the snacks for the weekend and they REALLY came through!!

We spent our weekend eating,

sitting around outside, enjoying the first summer-like weather we've had this year,

snacking,

eating again,

followed by more sitting around,

a little sunburnin',

and then more snacking.

You get the idea.

I had an awesome weekend... but I'm up 2.2 lbs.

Which means I'm heavier than when we started this challenge at the beginning of the month.

::sigh::

I've got my work cut out for me.

 

May MY Weigh Wednesday

Does anyone else just compulsively throw EVERY. SINGLE. THING. they can find into their mouths at the beginning of that time of the month??  I never used to have any of the "symptoms" that so many women complain about, but I'm noticing certain ones developing ~ and worsening with age!

It's the weirdest feeling; somewhat similar to panic.  I almost literally can't sit still unless I've got food in my hands.  Not sure how to combat that!  Fortunately, it usually just hits me for a day or two at the beginning.  During the day, when there's stuff to get done, I can much more easily distract myself, but evenings are rough.  I'll admit to having a long, drawn-out "second supper" on Saturday night.

Followed closely, of course, by Mothers Day!!  We ate lunch at our favourite little Chinese food place which was having a smorg for the occasion, and I was still not hungry at 7:00pm when we finally had supper. I did eat, but only very little, figuring if I didn't have anything, I'd likely have problems falling asleep.

And then I had a package of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in the evening.  You know, just to make sure!  ;)

Until the Saturday night grazing and the Sunday afternoon smorg, my weight was EXACTLY the same all week as it had been last week ~ right down to the tenth of a pound!  I was up considerably on Monday morning (surprise, surprise!), but after behaving myself for the remainder of the time till weigh-in, I managed to drop ALMOST back to last week's weight.  Not quite.  I'm up 0.4 lb, but I can deal with that, especially since it's very normal for me to gain a bit at this point in my monthly cycle anyway.

I'm doing really well with the water challenge, so I think that's probably helping.  I've always been a "heavy drinker," but this past week I've been making very sure I get in my full 64 ozs/2L daily.

This coming week will be a challenge as my SIL/cousin and her family, as well as another single SIL, will be spending the weekend at our house!!  Might have to do a bit of fasting before and after...  ;)

Checkin' in ~ May MY Weigh

Well, I have to say, the first few days of this challenge have been a raving success.  I'm already down 2.2 lbs from my challenge-starting weight!!

Now if only I could figure out what I'd done differently...

Before the snowstorm obliterated our satellite signal last Saturday night (yes, we had a blizzard on April 30th!  It dumped 4" on us, and all the way up to 20" in nearby areas!!), The Man and I watched the first half of some obscure rugby movie about a delinquent kid.

Despite the relative forgettableness of the movie, one line stood out and I think it will stick with me for quite some time.  It was after the team had suffered a loss as a result of the delinquent kid's selfish attitude.  The coach was punishing the entire team, not just the loner who figured he should be the star.  The team was running laps up and down the bleachers, and while they ran to the point of complete exhaustion, he had them repeat this phrase:
 

Practice don't make perfect; practice makes permanent.

And he's right.  Regardless of how popular the saying is, practice really doesn't make perfect.  There will always be mistakes.  There will always be circumstances we didn't or couldn't plan for.  But the longer we practice something ~ whether it's rugby technique or eating habits or anything else ~ the more likely it will become a permanent habit.

It's a no-brainer, really, and yet I found it kinda profound!

I guess one of the things I've avoided in the last week is evening snacking.  I think, since last Wednesday, I haven't had a SINGLE evening snack, not even just a piece of fruit!  That's a virtually unheard-of practice in this house!!  I have also been more carefully watching my portions ~ generally trying to give myself less than I would normally have dished out, and not going back for seconds, no matter how wonderful it tastes!  Or how not full my stomach still feels afterwards.

So if for the next 4 weeks I continue to conscientiously practice portion-control and limit my evening snacking to special occasions ONLY, I will be well on the way to permanence!

It's been a while...

I haven't missed counting points.  I haven't missed following a strict weekly eating plan.  I haven't missed disallowing certain foods.  I haven't missed stepping on the scale.  I haven't missed obssessing about food, eating, and weight.

I haven't missed the regular weight-loss/gain postings, that's for sure.  I haven't missed the challenges.  And quite honestly, I haven't even missed all the positive, encouraging, "You can DO it!" comments from well-meaning Internet strangers and friends, either.

The past almost-year since my last post here has been very freeing in some ways.  I've loved not spending every waking minute thinking about food, planning meals, counting points, fretting about how to lose the extra weight from a binge night or two, and being disappointed when I stepped on the scale.

But I have missed being lighter.

Today, I weigh 170.8.  I am 12 lbs heavier than I was at the end of last August (roughly when I posted last) and almost 16 lbs heavier than I was exactly a year ago.

Obviously, this TOTAL FREEDOM thing isn't such a great idea.  Of course, maybe that's because it might have been more appropriately called RECKLESS ABANDON...

I just wish I could find a balance between being conscientious about my food choices, and my eating and exercise habits, without feeling like that's ALL I think about.  I have been saying this for years ~ to the point that I'm sick and tired of saying it and hearing myself say it ~ but whatever I do needs to feel natural in order to become a habit.  All these counting, figuring, and abstinence plans are not NATURAL.  They work, but none of the programs and systems I've tried so far, no matter how successful they might have been, were just not something I wanted to have to adhere to for the rest of my life.

So, all this to say, I guess I'm back at square one.  This month will be about trying to start some habits (AGAIN) that feel good, feel natural, will be good FOR me, and that I can see myself sticking with for a lifetime.

Sure.  No problem, right??